Yellow brick road

Living on one's own in a city where you don't know more than a handful of people can be rather lonely at times. During college (and this is something I took for granted before now) there were so many like-minded people your age at your fingertips. For four years no matter which way you turned there was someone there willing to form a friendship. Now, however, it seems the friendship path is a bit dusty and overgrown making it hard to follow. I never really gave much thought as to how people made friends because friends had always been so readily available in school. These days, though, I am constantly asking, "Just how do people do it?" I type this as I close another Friday night in my apartment by myself. Ahh, to long for the days of college...

In hindsight

Too many things comes crashing
                 down,
                        down,
                              down
And the tears
                 fall,
                        fall,
                                fall.

A dear friend's father passed away this morning. I've found myself overwhelmed from work and unable to lock-up my emotions. I mourn for the loss of a father, husband, friend, what could have been, and what will never be. I sigh in an attempt to calm my nerves and in hopes of catching a second wind as the school year grows ever more demanding.

I pray you find yourself resting in the peace of the Lord all your days.

Sincerity

It's funny how a few short words can drown out all others. "How are you?"--such a simple question. Most days we rush through and automatically respond to a "hello" with a "how are you," but don't actually pause to hear the answer. I fall victim to this many times. Today, however, I was asked this question and there was such sincerity in the asker's voice that I was taken aback. He truly wanted to know how I was doing. He showed genuine concern; I can only hope to portray those same emotions in my asking.

Eye Openers

I love watching my 3rd graders and catching glimpses of who they'll turn out to be. Take quiet, harmless John: I caught him nudging the girl in front of him with the corner of his book, trying to get her attention; he's a ladies' man in the making. My little Stefan had to leave the rocker and continue reading at his desk because he was bothering those around him during silent reading. As he sat in his seat he got a little teary-eyed because he couldn't sit in the rocker anymore; he'll be a simpleton-always looking for the little joys in life. As for me, I catch myself constantly thinking that I love my job and have an overpowering feeling of contentment in my heart. I love these kids, good days and bad. This is where I belong-in the classroom. God's intentions for our lives can be seen all around; we just have to open our eyes.

Candy Mountain, Charlie

It's been a while since I posted. Quite frankly, life got busy and I just didn't have inspiration. However, a recent trip to a dear friend's wedding hit the spot.

From 7.27.12
I am currently 33,000 ft above the ground on my way to Chi-town. As I stare out my window onto the setting sun, I can't help but be in awe of the view. Flying never ceases to amaze me. A blanket of clouds spreads out along the skyline. An ongoing portrait of God's majesty. I find it amusing that the clouds in the sky mimic the mountains below.

Covalent or Ionic?

In my Chemistry class the other week we were learning about chemical bonding. There are two different kinds of bonds, one where the atoms share electrons and another where the electrons transfer. My professor was explaining that these unstable elements are forming bonds in order to reach a state of stability. They are "ultimately forming bonds to get to that noble gas state," she said. I may be going out on a limb here, but I made the following metaphor: human relationships are like chemical bonding. We form relationships with others in order to get to a nobler state, to become stable. In other words, the relationships we form are ultimately to get us to God. I know this point has been made before, but I wanted to reiterate it as much for your benefit as mine. Be sure to form good bonds.

Sing a Line or Two

Throughout high school I kept an entire steno pad (a mini notebook) full of quotes from songs I heard. The quotes were generally of a romantic nature, but nevertheless reminded me of some life experience I'd had. I looked through that notebook constantly, frequently posting one or two quotes in my AIM profile (remember those?!). Those song lyrics were a reflection of me-they were the perfect expression of how I was feeling at the time. Though I no longer have the steno pad, I still catch myself jotting down a line from a song on a scrap of paper, never knowing when the perfect time will be to use it again. For nostalgia's sake, I wanted to throw another out there that struck me as I listened to a John Mayer song the other day: "I like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." Always gotta keep 'em guessing as to what you're smiling, or in my case singing, about.

Fresh Firsts

I went to confession today. Confession is such a cleansing experience in more ways than one. I found myself cleaning around my room later in the day. I also found myself clearing my thoughts. I told someone once that I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt by starting each day with a fresh (first) impression of those I encounter. No matter what happened yesterday, I would give you another chance today. I sincerely meant what I said. Unfortunately, those words have started to fade into the background and my current actions have come to the forefront. Sometimes it's good to revert back to old habits, and this is one of those times. Consider our next meeting our first-I hope it's a good one!

Silent Whisperings

There seem to be rather frequent thoughts in the back of my mind having to do with my upcoming career path: "Is this really what I should be doing? Have I taken the 'easy' route by not having taken any risks?" Possibly. But then there are the calm interjections every so often by friends, colleagues, professors ushering me along my path, patiently prodding me that this is where I should be. I take each one as a clue from God. He is reassuring me that I am capable of this job and others are taking notice. I have to thank those who have spoken up--your whisperings are not unappreciated.

In-Flight

The information screen at my gate scrolls through the basics of my flight: it will arrive at 7:33 p.m. local time, we'll be flying on a 319 Airbus, and there will be 120 people on my flight, with 101 of us already checked-in. How incredible. Not including all the people I've already come across at the airport, I will be coming into contact with 119 people I've never met simply by flying today. That means there are possibly 119 people I could prefer to never see again, but who knows, maybe the odds'll be in my favor and I'll make a friend.
(from 9.25.11)

Pathways

I saw a commercial today emphasizing the importance of first steps: a baby's first steps, the first steps into a new school, home, job, first steps down the aisle at your wedding. The commercial stuck me for reasons unknown at the time. Only a few short hours later did I realize the sensation of "taking those first steps." Taking a first step into anything is taking a risk. You approach it knowing that things will change, for better or worse, in big ways or small. There's a hope that things will turn out in your favor and you'll be better off for having stepped forward. You're not stepping backward into the past, retracing your steps, but rather moving forward onto an unmarked path praying for the courage to continue onward. I just hope I've brought my walking shoes.

(from 1/2/12)